november 2, 2007, or fuck cancer

one year and one day ago, the baron got some rather bad news. she received this news around 9:30am eastern standard time and she was back in her car by 9:45, digesting the information. in the wake of this news - delivered to her by a VERY young-looking doctor and going something like "the biopsy found evidence of CANCER cells in your thyroid" - the baron sat in her car for a minute before deciding to drive to the husband's office. on the way there, she called the husband to say, 'i have CANCER, let's go to sticky fingers. i deserve a cinnamon roll.' she then called her mother (who, three hours behind in california, was sleeping) but spoke to her brother. he received the news quietly. she then called laura, who was getting ready for work. though the baron can't recall their conversation exactly, it probably went something like,

'dude, i have CANCER.'
'no you don't have CANCER.'
'dude, i do! my doctor said.'
'what?'
'i know! can you believe this?'
'what?'

that morning seems like a very long time ago - since then, the baron has been treated for THE CANCER (with the removal of her thyroid and a radioactive iodine pill), and she's started on thyroid hormone supplements. on the whole, she feels fine. there's barely a scar at her throat anymore, which is nice, considering this conversation shortly before the cutting:

surgeon: i usually try to make the incision in the folds of the patient's neck...
the baron: oh? good. it's less visible then?
surgeon: yes. can i see your neck?
the baron: (pulling down her turtleneck)
surgeon: oh, well. your neck is rather long, and you don't have any folds. you'll just have a scar.
the baron: nice.

there's just a little more to the baron's CANCER story. she'll have another round of body scans in february, just to make sure there's no more CANCER in her neck or her lymph nodes. then, she'll have regular check-ups every year - easy as pie. she makes light of it now, and maybe she shouldn't, because CANCER is kind of serious and deadly. while in the thick of it, she wondered if her experience would be a transformative one, if she would come out the other side an advocate for cancer research, if she would donate to the american cancer society, if she would actually join a thyroid CANCER support group.

below, a self portrait:



none of those things came to pass, reader. she hasn't joined any support group, there have been no donations to the american cancer society, and no, she hasn't become more feeling for the plight of others. sigh.