city politics

the baron and the husband sit on a committee in their town - it's called the animal welfare committee and among its members are citizens from each of the city's neighborhoods and the city's animal control officer (aco).

earlier this week, the baron received a note from the aco asking if she or her co-chair could attend a meeting at city hall, a meeting to discuss the fy09 budget. specifically, wrote the aco, a citizen of the town (a woman, identified by her address on 52nd street) had voiced some concerns and possible criticisms of the aco's budget. it would be good, the aco wrote on, for a tax paying member of the community to attend and defend the budget against the woman's comments.

the baron and the husband, both tax paying citizens, attended the budget meeting, held in council chambers (not so grand or interesting a room as it sounds). at the entrance to council chambers was a table with copies of the draft fy '09 budget and two sign-in sheets. the husband and the baron moved toward the table, where the baron quickly took up a copy of the budget. somehow, the baron felt that grasping a draft budget was akin to holding a cocktail at a cocktail party: it both kept her hands busy and justified her presence there. the husband, meanwhile, was busy signing his name to one of the two sheets of paper on the table, and, when he asked the baron if she didn't want her name down too, she most assertively declined.

they found seats, and soon thereafter town citizens and the city council started filing in. the baron and the husband murmured among themselves, trying to pick out the woman who lived on 52nd street. they (correctly, it turned out) decided she was the middle aged woman in a green suit (a tragic-shade-of-green-with-black-pattern suit), sitting three rows from them. soon, the first part of the meeting began; during this time, the public was able to comment on the budgetary process though not actual line items in the budget. 52nd street approached the podium and attested to the fact that she did not want property taxes raised, that she had examined the budget very closely, and that she had identified numerous areas where the budget could be trimmed to make up for revenue lost by not raising taxes.

it is worth noting that she sounded totally normal and sane, and did not single out the aco's budget as an area of superfluous and/or irresponsible city spending.

soon thereafter, the first part of the meeting closed for comment and the second part of the meeting began: this was the time when citizens could comment on the actual budget. the mayor (who the baron had previously identified as a dead ringer for gigolo joe - at least in terms of hair and face sheen) began reading names - the names of people who had signed up to comment.

the first words out of his mouth were: "john shea, is there a john shea here?"

the husband and the baron looked quickly at each other and exchanged mental 'wtf!'s. the husband raised his hand, and said with a confidence that he did not feel, "i'll go last, after everyone else's comments. i'm not prepared just yet."

the mayor looked startled and not a little annoyed, but said with as much grace as a man who looks like gigolo joe can muster, "ok, i'll move you to the end of the list if you don't mind."
in the meantime, 52nd street was called up again to speak about her particular concerns with the budget. the husband and the baron readied themselves to take mental note of her argument, so that the husband could offer cogent and relevant counter points during his time at the podium.

at the podium, 52nd street reiterated her concerns about raised property taxes, then offered an example of where she believed the budget could be cut.

"aha!" thought the baron. "here we go," thought the husband.

however.

the only example 52nd street offered was regarding conference and membership fees - apparently the city pays all its employees conference fees and professional association fees, to the tune of about 700k per year. this, thought the baron, was kind of a good point, and a mild one too. with a last plea against property tax increase, and the suggestion that money could be found in the budget, 52nd street stepped down.

ahem. the husband and the baron laid down their mental note taking tools and frowned, for what, now, could be the husband's rebuttal?

other various people moved toward the podium and offered their ideas about not raising property taxes, including one woman who suggested turning off every other light in the city's buildings, and switching to eco-friendly lightbulbs.

then, it was the husband's turn. he stepped to the podium and winged this: 'i first would like to apologize for my naivete - i thought that was a sign in sheet, so that'll teach me to read things before signing, eh?" - no one laughed.

the husband went on to say that he agreed with the general concensus that taxes shouldn't be raised, and that he had lived in many communities across the country and had seen different cities' approaches to raising revenue (citing anaheim, ca and phoenix, az as - pretty good, thought the baron - examples). he also pointed out that if taxes increased but city services did not improve, the city would become less attractive to people looking to move to the area.
then, he apologized again for his mistake and sat down.

this second part of the meeting wrapped up fairly quickly after this bungle, and as soon as tactfully possible the baron and the husband moved hastily toward the exit.