tales of car ownership

the baron drives a 13 year-old saturn, a gold one, a two-door coupe that has seen better days. she inherited this car from her mother four years ago, and - visions of NO CAR PAYMENT dancing before her eyes - was glad to accept it.

this car, a lady car, the baron named shep.

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the baron's friend lalee has driven a mid-sized red chevrolet pickup truck for a few years now. this truck, bought new, was named pretty morgan freeman, or pmf.

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the husband, who drives a full-sized, extended cab chevrolet silverado, has not named his truck. though this ford was, for the time they had him, referred to as aragorn.

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mr. c recently bought a volkswagon rabbit, name as yet to be determined. (the short list, so far, is rupert.)

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the other day, the baron retrieved a voice mail from her mobile phone, a message from lalee indicating that she was changing the name of her truck from pretty morgan freeman to hope.

the baron balked, and called the next day.

-dude, you're renaming pmf hope? that's a terrible name.
-H-O-P-E?
-right, hope?
-no, H-O-K-E. i'm renaming him hoke.
-hoke? that's a GREAT name. for a minute i thought i'd have to have some kind of intervention, like maybe you were giving up on life. or that you were imagining some kind of young woman with down syndrome who was overcoming some adversity. why are you changing the name?
-well, i'm not that big a fan of morgan freeman, and also, he's been secretly dating his adopted granddaughter.
-sorry, what's that?
-i read all about it at the huffington post, which - i think - sourced their material from the national enquirer.
-ah.