bazaar

a couple of weekends ago, the baron and the husband attended the harvest bazaar, hosted by the local elementary school. the bazaar occurs every year; parents of students who attend the school pool their baubles, electronics, books, and other junk, sort it by function (for example, you will see a fry pan and an ice cream maker sharing shelf space, as they can both be broadly defined as 'kitchen'), and invite the neighborhood en mass to attend. it's kind of an awesome tag sale.

last year, the baron and the husband got a bicycle, a cement paw making kit, and a really lovely birdhouse.

this year, they got these fu lion bookends...

and these delicate, green-stemmed glasses...

which immediately brought frangelico to the baron's mind...

which in turn reminded the baron of the first time she tasted frangelico, at a restaraunt in playa langosta, costa rica, on lalee's 28th birthday... sigh.

steady diet of nothing

the baron is subsisting on a steady diet of non-foods, like jello and mashed potatoes, as well as 'tru calling' and 'the real housewives of atlanta'. also, she did not shower yesterday, nor did she brush her teeth. she did floss, though, and she drank the correct amount of water for the day (as directed by her physician). it's not an ideal week off, not really, but at least she's getting some holiday shopping done.

the worst weekend

some conversation from late friday afternoon into evening:

the baron: baron has bloody diarrhea. i think i'd better take him to the doctor?
the husband: call the vet and see what they say.
the baron : ok.

and later:
vet tech (coming out of an exam room): can you move to the other side of the waiting room? this dog coming through isn't very friendly to other dogs.
the baron: ok.

and later:
doctor (approaching the baron and baron in the waiting room, hand extended to shake the baron's hand): hi i'm-
baron: BOOMING BARK
doctor: (quickly withdrawing her hand)
the baron: i'm sorry! he's got a little guarding thing with me.
doctor: it's ok. i'll just take him away from you to do the examination.

and later:
the front desk guy: your total is $225.
the baron: ok.
vet tech (looking for a customer in the waiting room): gandalf? is there a gandalf here?
the baron (under her breath): did he just say gandalf?
front desk guy (under his breath): i think he just said gandalf.

some conversation from saturday into sunday:

3:40 pm-ish:
the baron: hello?
the husband: hello.
the baron: where are you?
the husband: i am in lovely newark, new jersey! the flight is delayed until sometime after 5.
the baron: my stomach still hurts.
the husband: go to the emergency room!
the baron: ...

5pm-ish:
tech: fill this cup with urine. here's a wipe.
the baron: ...
(10 minutes later)
the baron (handing a teeming full cup of urine to the tech): here you go.
tech: thanks.
tech 2 (observing the urine level in the cup): she got her money's worth today...

5:30 pm-ish:
the husband: flight delayed until 6:15.
the baron: ...

7:06 pm:
the husband (via text message): On tarmac still haven't left.

8pm-ish:
a nurse leads the baron into an exam room.
nurse: put this gown on and remove all your clothes.
the baron: all my clothes?
nurse: yes. all your clothes.
the baron: am i having pelvic exam?
nurse (with a nurse ratched-esque cock of the head): mostly likely.

11 pm-ish:
the baron: do you have any chapstick?
the husband: no.

12:30 am-ish:
doctor: how are you feeling?
the baron: fair. i'd say my pain level is around a 4 or a 5.
doctor: hm. unfortunately, the ct scan shows that your appendix is enlarged, with symptoms consistent with appendicitis. we'll call the surgeon, to set up surgery for tomorrow.
the baron: well, can i go home until then?
doctor: uh, no. you'll be staying here.

1 am:
the baron (calling her high school friend, a doctor): hello?
doctor: hello the baron! how are you?
the baron: doctor, i have to ask a professional question of you: i'm in the er and have just been diagnosed with appendicitis. they want to operate on me later this morning. should i do it, or should i get a second opinion?
doctor: you should NOT wait. have it done as soon as possible. if you wait, there's a chance that your appendix could burst, which will complicate the surgery. if your appendix is intact, they can do the surgery laprascopically, which is fairly easy. also, the healing time is shorter.
the baron: ok. thanks for the good advice. the husband will be in touch to let you know how it goes.
doctor: you'll be fine. i'll be waiting to hear from the husband.

1:30 am-ish:
(the phone rings in baron's er room)
the baron: hello?
surgeon: ms. the baron? this is the doctor. you're having abdominal pain?
the baron: yes.
surgeon: for how long?
the baron: since about 7:30 saturday.
surgeon: and where is it?
the baron: in my abdomen, on the lower right side.
surgeon: as you know, your ct scan came back with signs of appendicitis. it's important that we operate soon to remove the appendix. we will most likely go in laprascopically, which means we'll make three small incisions in your abdomen. using cameras, we'll remove the appendix that way.
the baron: uh. have you done this surgery before? are you good at it?
surgeon: oh, yes. i have done it many, many times before.
the baron: uh, if the incisions are small, how will you remove the appendix?
surgeon: we'll put in a bag, inside your abdomen, and then we'll pull it through one of the holes. the holes will stretch.
the baron: uh.

7:30 am-ish:
(phone rings in the baron's new hospital room)
the baron: hello?
surgeon: hello, ms. the baron? this is the doctor. i've scheduled your surgery for 8:30 am.
the baron: ok.
surgeon: someone will be in to get you around then.
the baron: ok.

8:45 am-ish:
anesthesiologist: have you had surgery before?
the baron: yes. last november.
anesthesiologist: what'd you have done?
the baron: thyroidectomy.
anesthesiologist: how did you do with the anesthesia? handled it no problem?
the baron: fine, it was fine.
anesthesiologist: ... so, november's not a great month for you.
the baron: i know, right?
the husband: maybe next november you can have your ovaries removed!
the baron: ha!

2 pm-ish:
(post surgery)
the husband (opening the baron's hospital room door): hello! i brought some stuff for you.
the baron: yay!
the husband (unpacking the bag): here. i brought some chopsticks - a single one from home, and a pair of takeout ones.
the baron: is there food in that bag?
the husband: no? i thought you could only have liquids?
the baron: (thinking)
the husband: and, here's your t-shirt from the rinard gallery! and here's your shoes, and a sweatshirt because it's coooold outside!
the baron: did you bring any chapstick?
the husband (holding up the chopsticks): yes, right here!
the baron: i said chapstick. why would i want chopsticks in the hospital?

3:30 pm-ish
(on the way home)
the baron: can you believe i had surgery this morning?
the husband: well, if you have one organ removed every year you won't have to worry about weight gain.
the baron: true.

blog this

the husband is in new orleans, at a conference that is teaching how to, um, blog.
so far, his morning's work:
dr. donkey kong

the second bathroom, the nasty one

reader, the baron is embarrassed about the photos below, of the master bedroom bathroom. it's a rather smaller bathroom than the first one, and has just a shower. a pop-in fiberglass shower. with a travertine tile border at the bottom, laid out OVER, and stuck to, the fiberglass. you know what? the baron is throwing up in her mouth a little right now.

in this before photo, the narrowness of the bathroom is obvious, right? it's just a tiny, tiny room. this bathroom has the same 'before' tile as the first one, and the same faux-marble style laminate vanity.

the baron and the husband wanted, of course, to remove the shower and replace it with a tile shower, which meant building a lip where the glass door would sit. this - the laying of the shower basin - was beyond their bathroom related experience. so... the baron and the husband hired someone to do it for them! below, you can see the walls are removed, though the fiberglass shower basin remains.

below, no fiberglass remains, and the shower walls are on their way! also, at this point, the toilet and the vanity are gone. the baron and the husband, by the way, decided to use the same new toilet and pedestal sink as they had in the first bathroom.

the shower, the shower basin, are complete. if you look closely, reader, you can see that the subway tile also extends onto the walls of the bathroom. isn't it so pretty?

next, the floors and the shower doors are installed. still no toilet, but don't worry reader... they got one eventually!

lastly, the paint and the shower fixtures. pink isn't for everyone, the baron and the husband realize, but it's a much more muted pink than appears here. also, they got the paint from the sale table at home depot for $5, and frankly, after what they had already spent on the bathrooms, settling for cheap pink paint seemed like a grand idea. also, there's the baron, caulking the shower head.

the first bathroom, the ugly one

the west willow house came equipped with standard bathrooms and bathroom fixtures... standard for the 1970s. the baron and the husband saw potential in those bathrooms, though: once they moved in, they immediately began plans to renovate them. the first one, the guest one, was actually rather large. large enough to fit the usual bathroom suspects (sink, toilet, tub/shower), but also a narrow wardrobe and a chair. also, reader? the houses in phoenix come with cement sub-floors, which made the tiling SUPER easy for the baron (one day, the baron will regale you with the story of how SHE HATES HER CURRENT BATHROOM'S FLOOR BECAUSE IT WAS TOO HARD TO TILE DUE TO THE WOOD SUB-FLOOR. ahem.).

so.

behold the ugly bathroom, as they found it:

so ugly. so, so ugly.

so, so ugly. the baron threw up a little in her mouth, just remembering this bathroom.

they couldn't salvage the drywall behind the shower tile, so they just cut it all out. also, the husband hated the fixtures, so this big gaping drywall hole? easy access for new, better plumbing.


the toilet and that so, so ugly vanity were the next to go. the husband, teaching himself plumbing on the fly, shows the sink pipes who's boss. or rather, he tries to show the sink pipes who's boss... the end of this picture is that the husband called a plumber.

the floor tile was also pulled out, as was the old tub. the baron and the husband stripped the room to the studs, and to the sub-floor. below, the baron is installing drywall.

below, reader, you can see the results of the baron's hard work (and her mad joint compound skills). around the shower, they used hardibacker over vinyl 'repels water and mold' sheeting. pretty tidy looking, eh? also, notice the new floor creeping in? the baron did all the tiling in this bathroom, and - if she does say so herself - it looks pretty good.


new sink, new toilet, new baseboard and wall tile. the baron and the husband decided on 3in x 6in high gloss subway tile for the walls. they wanted the bathroom to be bright and clean, and reminiscent of an old-timey subway station.

new fixtures, including a brushed stainless steel light fixture and simple black mirror.

new bathtub, and - eventually - a new shower head and knobs, all in brushed stainless steel. though you can't really tell, reader, the bathroom is painted a pale, minty green... this bathroom, this beautiful bathroom, became the baron's favorite room in the house!

the life

phoenix, though ultimately not for them, was good to the baron and the husband. below, scenes from their life there. and, reader? the dogs totally did that to themselves.