eat this

the husband: man, i am so tired... we should start saying something else, instead of tired... we should say cheese and crackers pizza.

the baron:  hahahahahaha.  that is very funny.  you made me laugh!

the husband: that's only because you're cheese and crackers pizza.

rethinking friday night lights

the baron is rethinking her attitudes about professional football... based on these guys.

kind of black

the baron: toddler x, what kind of music do you feel like hearing?

toddler x: ummmm, harlan pepper kind of music.

the baron: miles davis it is.

muy bien

toddler x: what is muy?

the baron: you tell me.

toddler x: it means a lot.

the baron: [jesus.  this kid.]

the baron: that's close.  it means very.

thursday morning's potty talk

toddler x: 'i have to poop! i have to poop!  no, no, i don't have to poop!'

the baron: (sigh)

one way that life is unfair

the baron has spent the last 2 hours trying to coax, cajole, bribe, convince and intimidate toddler x into pooping on the potty.*  he finally did it.  toddler x and the baron are both exhausted from the effort.  and the baron still has to clean fecal matter out of the potty.  

two things about this: 

1) why insist that he poop on the potty?  why not be one of those moms who's all 'poop on your schedule, whatev, it's all good, hippy, hippy, peyote'?  because toddler x is a sneaky pooper: once he's pooped, he takes his underpants (or diaper) off, leaving a trail of poop throughout the house.  everytime.  for the past week.

2) yes, she knows intimidation is the wrong way to go about potty training.  it was her last resort, born of frustration.  she invites you to spend 120 minutes dealing with a poop-witholding two year old to see how you'd hold up.

watch your language!

the baron's mother (to baby girl x): once upon a time there was a handsome scottish actor.  he had thick eyebrows, and a nice smile*.

the baron: [listening]

the baron's mother: and he was sexy.

the baron:  mother, what the heck?  you don't say sexy to my infant daughter!

the baron's mother: [hearty laughter]

*the baron and her mother had been reminiscing about this movie, which apparently got the baron's mother thinking about this actor.  hence, the sexy talk.

annoyed. also secretly pleased.

toddler x: sometimes i misbehave. sometimes i misbehave. sometimes i misbehave.

the baron: yes, that is true. but sometimes you behave. can you say that?

toddler x: ...

the baron: toddler x, can you say, 'sometimes i behave'?

toddler x: ... ... sometimes i DON'T misbehave. hahahahahaha.

the baron: (sigh)

it didn't go our way.

miss you, tucker.

this round to tucker

tucker's been a bit down lately, on account of a wicked case of meningoencephalitis (the baron is referring to it as brain fever).

it's been a long week for the baron and the husband (and probably longer still for tucker) as various doctors tried to sort out his diagnosis and treatment, but now, 10 days after the seizure that first indicated he might be ill, tucker is seeming better and better:  he's ambulatory, and has regained his appetite, vision, and sense of smell.  his hearing seems not to be so great, but yesterday the baron did notice tucker's ears twitch at the sound of the cookie jar lid being removed and was heartened by it.

years ago, when the baron and the husband were certain they did not want and would not have children, they mourned the life tucker would not have: he seemed the kind of dog specially bred for a little boy to roam and romp with, best friends armed with sticks and tennis balls.

things are much changed since those early days!  when toddler x was born, among his parents' first thoughts was: how lucky this boy, to have tucker!  and how lucky tucker is, to have this boy!

if things had gone a different way this week, the baron and the husband would have had a hard time putting things back together.  happily and luckily, this round goes to tucker and there will be no mourning, only celebrating.