dear readers (and by "readers", i really mean "mother" and anyone else who thinks that five is not the right number),
i was recently gifted the book "flawed dogs" by the husband. it's the story of sam the lion, a perfectly bred prize dachshund who has had a rather unfortunate life. over the course of the book, he sees the inside of a dog-fighting ring, the inside of an animal testing facility, a dog shelter, and the westminster kennel club dog show. the book's pages, meant for the eyes of teenaged readers, are populated by all sorts of dogs, most of them shelter-bound cast offs.
i read this book in one sitting, in, oh, two hours maybe, crying most of the way. why would the husband give a highly emotional pregnant woman who is already inclined to collect stray dogs a book about a stray dog whose flaw is that he is UNLOVED? why would he do that? i can only conclude that - despite his protestations - he, too, believes five to be the right number.
so. carry on, and i will too.
-the baron
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
so much pregnancy test carnage
lats friday marked the end of the baron's 14th week of pregnancy, which means she's now a bit into the second trimester. she's feeling better by inches as the weeks pass, but has still not recovered her pre-pregnancy energy levels. she's back on complex carbohydrates, though, so that's a definite plus.
she read a few baby books early on- in the vein of 'what to expect when you're expecting' - and was delighted to learn that pregnancy may (or, as things go, may not) exacerbate headaches in women who are prone to them anyway. the baron, lucky gal (!), is prone to them, real, REAL migraines that come from nowhere and last for days into weeks, their strength waxing and waning: sometimes, the pain is receded, into the far corners of her head, other times, it's at the fore, at the right temple, and affecting everything she does.
reader, wouldn't you know it? despite her hopes to the contrary, the baron IS one of those women for whom headaches are worse during pregnancy! she's made this judgment based on the 4 week bender going on in her brain, the one that the extra-strength tylenol isn't fixing at all (oh, excedrin for migraine, how she misses you). the quality of this migraine is peculiar, what with the fact that it seems to originate from up along the right side of her neck and into her head. so. that's kind of new.
at first, because of the weird neck thing, the baron thought maybe too many hours at her desk or maybe the mostly-deflated state of the bed pillows might be to blame. she's tried making adjustments: changing the angle of her computer's monitor at work, new pillow configurations, self- and husband-administered neck massages, all to no avail. in the end, the baron has decided that the headache? the one that seems like IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY BECAUSE ALL SHE CAN TAKE IS EXTRA-STRENGTH TYLENOL? that migraine?
the baron believes it's the baby, using all his/her leisure time to develop new and fashionable styles of migraine headache. because that's what fetuses do.
also, thyroid cancer? was headache free.
---------------------
the photo below was taken last august, on a morning when the baron felt a little off - a little sick to her stomach and achy. she took one test, which came back positive, then sent the husband back to the pharmacy to get as many other pregnancy tests as he could lay his hands on; they wanted to be sure, false positives and all that. even though the baron is bitter, today, about her appetite, and huge boobs, and lovely fall wardrobe that no longer fits over her hips, and the headache, and the frequent (but, admittedly, diminishing) vomiting, she's very, very, very happy about those tests. and about being pregnant. go team!
she read a few baby books early on- in the vein of 'what to expect when you're expecting' - and was delighted to learn that pregnancy may (or, as things go, may not) exacerbate headaches in women who are prone to them anyway. the baron, lucky gal (!), is prone to them, real, REAL migraines that come from nowhere and last for days into weeks, their strength waxing and waning: sometimes, the pain is receded, into the far corners of her head, other times, it's at the fore, at the right temple, and affecting everything she does.
reader, wouldn't you know it? despite her hopes to the contrary, the baron IS one of those women for whom headaches are worse during pregnancy! she's made this judgment based on the 4 week bender going on in her brain, the one that the extra-strength tylenol isn't fixing at all (oh, excedrin for migraine, how she misses you). the quality of this migraine is peculiar, what with the fact that it seems to originate from up along the right side of her neck and into her head. so. that's kind of new.
at first, because of the weird neck thing, the baron thought maybe too many hours at her desk or maybe the mostly-deflated state of the bed pillows might be to blame. she's tried making adjustments: changing the angle of her computer's monitor at work, new pillow configurations, self- and husband-administered neck massages, all to no avail. in the end, the baron has decided that the headache? the one that seems like IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY BECAUSE ALL SHE CAN TAKE IS EXTRA-STRENGTH TYLENOL? that migraine?
the baron believes it's the baby, using all his/her leisure time to develop new and fashionable styles of migraine headache. because that's what fetuses do.
also, thyroid cancer? was headache free.
---------------------
the photo below was taken last august, on a morning when the baron felt a little off - a little sick to her stomach and achy. she took one test, which came back positive, then sent the husband back to the pharmacy to get as many other pregnancy tests as he could lay his hands on; they wanted to be sure, false positives and all that. even though the baron is bitter, today, about her appetite, and huge boobs, and lovely fall wardrobe that no longer fits over her hips, and the headache, and the frequent (but, admittedly, diminishing) vomiting, she's very, very, very happy about those tests. and about being pregnant. go team!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
the best 4 minutes you'll spend all day
the baron cribbed this off boing boing this morning, and it really is the best video clip she's seen lately.
um, california? do you really want maine to lead the way on this one?
um, california? do you really want maine to lead the way on this one?
Monday, October 19, 2009
the baron says...
...she is sorry for not having posted something proper in such a very long time. she feels badly about it, but has been otherwise preoccupied.
...thank you, if you have come here checking for posts.
...pregnancy is turning out to be harder than she imagined it could be. today she is at the start of her 14th week of pregnancy, and the morning sickness has yet to really, truly subside. she still spends each day planning meals, trying to imagine what will appeal to her fickle appetite later in the day. more often that she would like to admit, a feeling of panic (usually related to, 'good god, i haven't eaten in 2 hours. where is the food?!') rises up inside her; she spends a good amount of time taking measures to avoid that feeling.
...a bummer about this whole pregnancy process? the size 10 underwear she bought yesterday. and the 36c bra. and the up to 190 lbs tights. her vanity, with which she was always fairly well acquainted, is actually a much more powerful force than she ever realized. sigh.
...other bodily things about pregnancy are a bummer too. mostly gastrointestinal ones. she won't go into details, but would like to note that tucker and baron are not the only gas factories in the house anymore.
...thank god for the husband, he who does all the dishes and brings the baron food in bed. she is a lucky, lucky woman.
...yay! halloween is almost here! the baron will take off the day before halloween, and has a full day of fun planned! she will carve pumpkins (plucked from this farm), and bake (both pumpkin seeds and cookies), and drink cider to her heart's content. also, she will call the brother and wish him a happy birthday.
...thank you, if you have come here checking for posts.
...pregnancy is turning out to be harder than she imagined it could be. today she is at the start of her 14th week of pregnancy, and the morning sickness has yet to really, truly subside. she still spends each day planning meals, trying to imagine what will appeal to her fickle appetite later in the day. more often that she would like to admit, a feeling of panic (usually related to, 'good god, i haven't eaten in 2 hours. where is the food?!') rises up inside her; she spends a good amount of time taking measures to avoid that feeling.
...a bummer about this whole pregnancy process? the size 10 underwear she bought yesterday. and the 36c bra. and the up to 190 lbs tights. her vanity, with which she was always fairly well acquainted, is actually a much more powerful force than she ever realized. sigh.
...other bodily things about pregnancy are a bummer too. mostly gastrointestinal ones. she won't go into details, but would like to note that tucker and baron are not the only gas factories in the house anymore.
...thank god for the husband, he who does all the dishes and brings the baron food in bed. she is a lucky, lucky woman.
...yay! halloween is almost here! the baron will take off the day before halloween, and has a full day of fun planned! she will carve pumpkins (plucked from this farm), and bake (both pumpkin seeds and cookies), and drink cider to her heart's content. also, she will call the brother and wish him a happy birthday.
home schooling, part 2
if you have a moment, check this out, the second installment in a series related to home schooling your children. the baron has read it, and is thinking about it.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
what's in a name?
the baron: so, one of my students was telling me that we shouldn't give our child a name that's too, you know, out there.
the husband: oh?
the baron: yeah. he said we didn't want to start our children off "one down" in life. i told him that, of course, from his lofty position of [redacted, easily and obviously pronounced 4 letter name] he was able to say something like that.
the husband: oh?
the baron: also, he had lots of advice about parenting... he's got multiple children, and is, ah, very religious. i was hoping the name topic wouldn't come around to last names, but it did. i told him we don't have the same last name, and that we hadn't settled on the baby's last name yet...
the husband: you should have told him we're waiting to pick the last name because we don't know who the baby's father is.
the baron: right. because things are funny when i'm a whore?
the husband: no. well, yes.
the husband: oh?
the baron: yeah. he said we didn't want to start our children off "one down" in life. i told him that, of course, from his lofty position of [redacted, easily and obviously pronounced 4 letter name] he was able to say something like that.
the husband: oh?
the baron: also, he had lots of advice about parenting... he's got multiple children, and is, ah, very religious. i was hoping the name topic wouldn't come around to last names, but it did. i told him we don't have the same last name, and that we hadn't settled on the baby's last name yet...
the husband: you should have told him we're waiting to pick the last name because we don't know who the baby's father is.
the baron: right. because things are funny when i'm a whore?
the husband: no. well, yes.
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